Home Celebrating German Culture in America When your Parents Are German…
When your Parents Are German…

When your Parents Are German…

0
421





when your parents are german

I was born in America shortly after my parents arrived from Germany. When your parents are German you don’t grow up like the other kids in your neighborhood.  There are loads of things that make you stand out. Like having a lot of extra stamps in your passport (and HAVING a passport), the ability to juggle Brötchen and Wurst on the street from an early age, and always having a sweater along because “Mann weiß nie ob es kalt wird”.

I’m sure a lot of you will recognize these traits…

 

Things You Know When your Parents are German

It’s All about the Windows

when your parents are german

Windows are a constant topic of conversation. They need to be open to get “Frische Luft” (fresh air). But they need to be closed because “es Zieht” (there’s a draft). By the way, “es Zieht” is a major health issue….you could catch a cold.  But if the air is “Muffig” (stuffy) there are other diseases to be caught. (And then there is the whole “are the windows clean enough argument…..” apparently dirty windows are the first step on the slippery slope to slovenly lifestyle… the horror.)

You Grew up With Scary Fairy Tales and Cautionary Stories

when your parents are german

image Wikipedia Commons

Bed time stories for German kids are Grimm’s Fairy Tales without the Disney white wash (the Wolf ATE Little Red Riding Hood!), Stuwwelpeter Stories (the man with the scissors who cuts off the thumb suckers thumbs!) ,Max und Moritz (ground into flour, and eaten by geese) and all of their cautionary tales about good and bad behavior.
And then there was Hoppe Hoppe Reiter… What’s so bad about that? It’s a fun children’s rhyme sung when bouncing a kid on your knees (and for the record, my kids loved it too…) You tell me..

Hoppe Hoppe Reiter                                  Hop Hop Rider

Hoppe, hoppe, Reiter                                        Hop Hop Rider
Wenn er fällt, dann schreit er                          If he falls, he will cry
Fällt er in den Graben                                        If he falls in a ditch
Fressen ihn die Raben                                       The Ravens will eat him
Fällt er in den Sumpf                                         If he falls in the swamp
Macht der Reiter plumps!                                 The rider will go Splash!

(Nice… sweet and fun… and Ravens picking at your bones….)

And don’t forget Maikaefer Flieg

Maikaefer Flieg                                         Ladybug Fly Away

Maikaefer flieg,                                               Maybug (doodlebug) fly away,
Dein Vater ist im Krieg                                   Your father is in the war
Deine Mutter ist im Pommerland                Your mother is in Pommerania
im Pommerland ist abgebrant….                  Pommerania has been burned to the ground
Maikaefer flieg                                                 Maybug (doodlebug) fly away

(I was terrified for years because of that sweet ditty.)




You have Coffee and Cake on Sunday

kaffee and kuchen germany

Cake isn’t just for birthdays! Every Sunday the table would be set with a fresh tablecloth and the “good dishes” from the Schrank… then we would have coffee and cake. If more people were invited, there would be two, and maybe even three delicious cakes to choose from. But why choose? You could have a “kleines Stuckchen” of each… Apfel Kuchen (Apple Cake), Kaesesahne Torte, Mocha Torte, FrankfurterKranz, und Pflaumen Kuchen. Coffee and fresh REAL whipped cream complete the picture.

You use a LOT of Lotions and Creams
when your parents are german

“Hast du dich gut eingekremt?” (“Did you do a good job rubbing on your lotion?”) was a constant in our home. Creams against the sun, creams against the cold, creams against the dryness…. And these were THICK German Creams (Nivea, Penaten Creme, Atrix) loaded with lanolin that no amount of rubbing could really make vanish. Especially in the summer, I always had schmears of white on my face and arms. German moms and Omas are crazy about having Gute Haut (good skin).

 

You Celebrate on Christmas Eve

German Christmas Eve Traditions

Christmas 1970

While all of your American friends had to wait for Christmas Morning, you and your family got to open presents on Christmas EVE! Lights, candles, tinsel and magic! Although, as I got older, I found that the working/dating world was less than appreciative of the idea that Christmas Eve was sacred. No, I won’t work in the retail store until 9PM on Christmas Eve… no, I won’t go shopping with you after dinner on Christmas Eve. I’m home, with Family. Presents have long been purchased, wrapped and tucked under the tree. It’s time for singing.

You go to German School on Saturday
when your parents are german

Saturday morning meant German School. Not Cartoons, not sport… 3 hours of German instruction. Grammar, spelling, reading, and lots of singing.  Granted, I wasn’t alone. I had lots of friends in German School. On the other hand… my regular everyday friends could not understand why I couldn’t sleep over Friday nights…. or take part in normal Saturday morning activities. Looking back, I’m thankful I did it… at the time, it was torture. School on SATURDAY!


TourRadar
 

You have Long-Distance Grandparents

 

when your parents are german

photo- wikipedia commons

 

Visiting my Oma and Opa meant a 10 hour plane trip on a Charter Airline like Condor. We’d get to the airport 3 hours early to try and gets seats together, but other Germans got there 4 hours early… so we’d be out of luck. It also included 9 time zone changes and having to reset my brain to all German language all the time. This meant that my family was always far away. While friends here had cousins, Aunts and Uncles and extended relatives come for birthday parties and holidays… we had long distance phone calls, letters and occasional visits. I know, lots of kids live far from their extended family… it just felt like that ocean between us made it even farther…

 

There is a Seldom-Used “Good” Living Room

when your parents are german

“Das Gute Zimmer” (the good room) was reserved for Adults and Special Occasions. We kids were not invited! This room was always kept clean (exceptionally clean… as opposed to merely spotless) and ready for visitors. The Schrank (Wall Unit) with the good dishes lived there. Flowers were always on the table. When my family finally got a color TV, that’s where it went… extended negotiations were required if we wanted to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special in color. Ironically, I still feel like a visitor when I sit in that room…

You know who THIS Guy Is

when your parents are german

Heino, whose baritone voice made the Schlager Musik Superstar one of the most successful German Musicians EVER.   Yet, you won’t hear him on American Radio. (Unless you tune in to a German American Station).  You will, however, hear him on my parent’s record player…  He and Freddy Quinn were front and center when it was time for my parents to party. (I still have a soft spot for Schlager.)




You ate Aufschnitt for Breakfast

when your parents are german

Photo by Kai Henry

Frosted Flakes, Trix and Lucky Charms never made an appearance on our Fruhstuck’s Tisch (breakfast table). Brot, Aufschnitt and Marmalade (Bread, Cold Cuts and jam) were breakfast foods in our home. On weekends, a boiled egg, or maybe Eierkuchen (german pancakes). Cold cereal might be a snack for after school… but it was never a meal. Oh… and the Aufschnitt (cold cuts) was always presented nicely on a Fleisch Platte with a special fork … jam was put in a special jar... and napkins were pretty… and the eggs came in Eierbecher ( special egg cups.)

Wonder Bread was a Mystery

german bread

Photo= wikipedia commons

Soft, squishy Wonder Bread was never a sandwich option. The Germans always find a Butcher and Baker somewhere within 100 miles of the house… and then stock up (the freezer in the Garage was always full of bread). In the school lunchroom I stood out. Other kids had PB &J… I had  Mettwurst, Teewurst, Deutschen Salami, Gelbwurst and on really good days… Schinken… on my brown (or black) crusted rye bread wrapped in waxed paper. Mom called American sandwich bread “toast bread”… and treated it accordingly.


Flower of the Month Club
 

Meals in General had Lots of Rules

when your parents are german

wikipedia commons- Berliner Liver and Onions… I would cry when this came to the table.

Holding your fork in your left hand, and the knife in the right… eating most everything with knife and fork. Hands on the table, not under. Start when dad starts… finish when dad finishes. Scary foods like Schmaltz, Leberwurst, Fleisch Salat, and Pickled Herring… and god help the child who didn’t clean their plate!

Everything is Ironed

when your parents are german

photo Chad Kainz

Everything. … and that crease in my jeans was embarrassing.  Germans iron (my Mom even has an industrial strength iron… and she loves to use it). Not just on Tablecloths and shirts. Dish Towels, Sheets, Handkerchiefs and blue Jeans …I remember watching my aunt iron undershirts. I still don’t like to iron… but I have a horrible fear of wrinkled shirts..

You might be Called a Nazi

when your parents are german

Bob Crane and John Banner from Hogan’s Heros… photo -wikipedia commons

My parents had an accent, I went to German School… so I got called a Nazi on the school playground. To me, Nazis were the bad guys in movies, (or the stupid ones in Hogan’s Heros) I had no idea why I was given that label. Turns out, I wasn’t alone. Thanks to Hollywood, most kids in my German school had the same problem. Now the movies have new bad guys…. I can empathize with those kids. It’s lousy to be labeled.

 

You are Always Prepared for Emergencies

when your parents are german

photo by sarah

There is a running joke in my family that I can take over a small country with the contents of my purse. It may be true… I am ready to cut fruit, open a beer bottle, sew on a button, read a novel, play a game, take notes on an important meeting, have a snack, clean hands and faces, and pay cash for what I need… and carry it home in an extra shopping bag that I have in my purse. To this day I always grab a jacket as I’m walking out the door…. even when I go to the beach (Ok, in Northern California, you often need jackets at the beach. Still… ) All this comes from my mother… who was always at the ready for any eventuality!

You Always Bring Flowers when you Visit Someone

when your parents are german

My parents had beautiful roses growing in the year… and whenever we went visiting, my father would cut a bouquet, and mom would wrap it up in pretty tissue, to give to the hostess. And it was seldom that Germans would visit us without a nice Blumenstrauss (Bouquet of Flowers). There were always fresh flowers in the house. I still love fresh flowers… I just don’t have my father’s green thumb, so I have to buy them.

You KNOW Good Chocolate

When your parents are german

Photo- Wikipedia commons

One of the best parts of being German in America… knowing what Good Chocolate tastes like. We would get care packages from German relatives loaded with delicious treats. Or we would fill our suitcases (to overflowing) with loads of Milka, Toblerone, Lindt, Merci, and other treats that were impossible to find in the US. I still prefer a Ritter Sport over Hersheys any day.

Flowers-ALL
I’m glad I grew up with the parents I have… and I’m thankful that they were able to share their culture and language with me. And now… I pass on as much as possible to my kids.

Danke Mama und Papa….



 

 

when your parents are german



Comment(421)

  1. Oh wow. It’s all so true. Except we didn’t have German Saturday school at the time. Instead we had a German-American Club and I danced in the Volktanzgruppe.

      1. Wow it’s amazing,I grew up in Germany and I moved to NY when I was 21 as an Aupair .
        Now 22 years later reading that, is so surreal. It’s all so true. Now I live in Colorado and I,m married with 2 kids.. the rest of my family is still in Germany ????????

    1. I know it doesn’t help much but as a total American kid, with American parents. My dad was in the Air Force and I came back from Germany the 1st time when I was 8. Went to 3rd grade. I was called a Nazi all the time and bullied. This lasted for years. In 5th grade when were supposed to have dances as a part of PE. No one would dance with me because I was the Nazi.

        1. I came from Germany at age 9. I spoke no English and was teased mercilessly in school. I dressed different, looked different and was often called a Nazi. Happily I survived it all and have enjoyed lif in my new country. I do miss all the the German traditions and the beauty of Germany

          1. I arrived at 9 years old as well. It was 1953….. the war was still fresh in everyone’s mind and I was also the resident Nazi. Had to go to 1st grade to learn English (learned exceptionally fast) then skipped a grade for my age. Not good to stand out. It would have been much worse had I not made some friends in the neighborhood.

        2. Yes I know how you felt, had the same experience, only I was an American born in Chicago, taken back to Germany at 2 month old, over the war yrs. Came back n 1947, at 11 was called a Nazi at school.

      1. Yes, I can remember running as fast as my little legs could carry me, with coat flying wide open and wondering what was wrong with me. I lived in Manhattan at the time. It was the 1940’s. Bullying at it’s worse. I never forgot.

      2. My parents also American but came back to states in 2nd grade – 1968. The teacher introduced me to the class as A Little Nazi. They didn’t know what it meant but knew it wasn’t a good thing. I knew what it was and was appalled. We only went to the school a few weeks. My parents moved to get us into a better environment.

        1. People are really narrow minded… and seem to need to make others feel worse, so they feel better. Pathetic

        2. I could not speak English when I was child. I went to school in Brooklyn. They didn’t have bi lingual classes. I had to sit in class and go to a church afterward to learn English. One day the principle of my school saw me in the hall and called me a Nazi. I didn’t know what a Nazi was. That was during WWII. I vowed to learn English and speak without an accent. I think I did pretty good for 80+ years.

          1. I was born in Germany, and adopted at 6 years by Americans and came to the USA- not allowed to speak English- it was evil! Always called the Little Nazi…. Now as an adult, i am learning the language again and find that many of these traits are within me!

          2. I too could not speak English when I first went to school in Canada, but now that I am 81 years old, I am often correcting the grammar of those who speak only English. The clean windows, the food, and ironing everything are all things which made a huge impression on me and I still value those things today. The Nazi thing happened to all of us if you had a very German name which I did. I remember my grade 4 teacher threatening to tell my whole class about the little German girl in their class. I am thankful that we were not put in a concentration camp during the war like the Japanese were.

      3. I went through the same thing when I came to the USA in highschool. My sister and I were called German Nazis Whores.

        1. Honestly, some people are mean, stupid and thoughtless. How can you say something like that to another human, much less a young girl?

        2. I think that’s terrible. When I was in a Catholic high school in the late 1950’s, We had a new student join us in the 9th grade right from Germany. Her name was Annaliese. She was a lovely girl and everyone liked her. She had arrived here just two months earlier and lived with her aunt. She didn’t know a word of English when she got there but in two months time she was fluent. And she was a straight A student!

      4. Those who cannot appreciate you for whom you are as a person, are not worth worrying yourself about. They are shallow and immature spoilt brats.

      5. We actually had a teacher in grade 7 who would refer to my best friend as “That Damn Nazi”… today he would be fired. My friend wasn’t bullied – everyone thought the teacher was the idiot. (Two years ayer we graduated, he was fired – for verbal abuse – Finally justice prevailed!

      6. I remember in grade here in the USA, being a full blooded German I also got called a Nazi. To this day (I’m 67) when I think of those days it hurts. .

    2. The Maikaefer is brown and look like the Junebugs here in the USA, Ladybugs are smaller and red. thank you

      1. we collected Maikaefer in the spring, they were our pets. If they were whitish, like mealy, we called them Mueller. darker brown ones were Schuster, (Shoemaker)

    3. Same here- Tanzgruppe on Thursday night’s at our San Diego German American Club. Alternate seasons from folktanz to Karneval. 42 years later – I’m still doing it! My German immigrant parents are both gone now – but I carry their traditions…. and still get called a Nazi on occasion. Every word of this is spot on. And the summerbreaks being a local tour guide….or “dragged to Europe again”!

      1. Dragged to Europe is much better than showing German visitors Disneyland, Hollywood and the beach for the 1000th time
        =)

      2. Hi Gitta!
        How funny to see a post from you on here. Love this site.

        Love the traditions I grew up with. I even remember the German American Societies of San Diego having events at the Swiss Club and El Cortez hotel downtown San Diego before we had our own clubhouse. Seven year if German school too! So many great memories!
        Marion and Craig

    4. I was born in Germany and came to Canada as a baby, I can relate to all the above except Schule, we did that a home…..I learned to fight and run every time a new war movie about the Germans and Allies came out (think The Great Escape)…..my name was Hans, blonde hair and blue eyes growing up in a very Anglo Saxon neighborhood…..would not trade it for a minute….

      The good thing about being German, if you remember the language it serves you in good stead in many places……I still speak fluent German and has helped greatly all these years……

      1. My boys were playing cowboys and Indians in Canada and it must have turned into another war game when suddenly the son of our friends came flying in to ask his Mom, ” are they the good Germans or the bad ones? ” His Mom almost died.

        1. When did they stop having school on Saturday in Germany? I was born and raised there in the 60s and 70s. We had school on Saturdays.
          I grew up in Mannheim, Germany, a city that at the time had numerous US military bases, a large family housing area with PX, commissary, theater and American schools. There was lots of interaction between the American Gl’s and the Germans, so much so that lots of German girls ended up getting married to US soldiers. That is how I came to the USA in the 80s. I brought with me many of the same traditions mentioned above. I still delight at finding Merci or Milka in the stores or order stuff from GermanDeli.com 🙂